This little guest post was planned a while ago when I fell in love with Judy and her love story. I became an overnight follower and knew instantly I wanted her involved in my ponderings about long distance relationships (of which more will follow). But with the laptop giving up life on me, we got a bit delayed. Finally we made it and as my first guest post on the blog, im excited and nervous all at the same time, to hand over the reigns.
Long Distance Relationships #1
Hello! My name is Judy, but sometimes people call me Pearl (usually the older folks in my family). I write about things that I find interesting in life on my blog The Girl Named Pearl, which is usually full of photographs, details of my travels and projects that I quickly start and slowly finish. I’m currently engaged to the love of my life, who I tenderly refer to as the Polish boy, as we live two thousand miles apart from one another and I chronicle some of the difficulties with being in a long distance relationship.
If you asked me what I thought about long distance relationships, I would say that long distance relationships can be summed up in two words --- they suck. When I’m creative, I usually add a “really” in there and call it a day. By now, I’ve become inured to those pitiful looks I receive when I answer people’s questions about my dating life and relationship status. People either get them or they don’t. Those who understand long distance relationships know the difficulty in spending lengthy periods of time without physical contact from their loved ones. Those who don’t will rely on a list of preconceived notions of what they believe long distance relationships to be, but unfortunately they too know that most long distance relationships end up falling apart and that happily ever after is a rarity that fades away with time.
Being in a long distance relationship has meant that, for the unspecified amount of time being, I’m not able to look forward to seeing the love of my life on a daily basis. It has meant that adventures are put off because I’m missing my partner in crime. There are many a lonely night eating dinner by yourself, and when you need a hug from the one person who could dispel so much of the pain with just their presence and touch, it never comes. It means saving vacation time, costly plane rides and short stays that usually end in heartbreaking goodbyes.
Long distance relationships are without a doubt difficult, but coping is as much the mind as it is the heart. The one redeeming thing about a long distance relationship is the fact that love is there, and as long as you have that, everything else is a minor setback and every day is a day closer to when we can finally be together. Because to endure means that a relationship, even in limited capacity, is better than losing that relationship all together.
When I’m asked why I even entertained the idea of a long distance relationship, I will be honest and tell you that at first I cried that ugly cry you don’t want anyone to see and then got very angry. Afterwards, I started to see the positives although the negatives were certainly still there. “Why?” people would ask and I would simply reply “because he’s the love of my life.” There is no stronger reason for it.
Are there any benefits to having a long distance relationship? Well sure --- it’s not like one of us moved away because we wanted to be somewhere else. Many situations force people to relocate themselves unwillingly, be it for a job or education. I happen to believe that things happen for a reason. By being apart, we are offered the opportunity to strengthen our love despite the distance.
These relationships test us and refuse give us what we want immediately in order to prove ourselves worthy --- if we wait, if we’re diligent, it will come to us in the end.